Tag Archives: negative

What are you thinking?

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When my husband and I were mere boyfriend/girlfriend, I used to drive him nuts by asking quite frequently “What are you thinking – RIGHT NOW!” I know now that this scenario is typical of the male/female psyche and I’m pleased to say, I have outgrown asking the poor man what he is thinking (or, some might say, I got tired of the boring answers ;) ).

Anyway, we all know that our thoughts say much about where we are at, and can, in fact, have a great bearing on our whole lives.

Sitting in church on Sunday, the pastor posed an interesting question – which may not have been wise, as it set me off on a whole train of thought and it is just possible I missed a large portion of what he said afterward. He asked us what was the first thing we said that morning and cited an American radio station who posed the same question to their listeners and the segment became a big hit.

I tried to think back and realised that, seeing as I get up most mornings before everyone else, the first words I uttered were probably “Good morning!” to whoever woke up next an hour or so later. So then, I started wondering what my first thought had been (you can see why I didn’t hear much of the sermon after that, can’t you!) and that was a bit harder to pin down.

Given the way I am feeling of late, it was probably a thought that had some stress attached to it, either about one of the kids, the business or the mould on my zucchini plants.

And in the days since, I have tried to be conscious of my first thoughts. By doing this, I can tell you, my thought life needs a bit of an overhaul.

What I think in the morning sets up my day.

I have been an optimist for most of my adult life but lately I have been tending towards the ‘dark side’. And I don’t like it. I liked being the ridiculously optimistic one who perpetually saw the bright side of life even in the face of evidence to the contrary. I want to go back there.

I know we all go through seasons, ups and downs in life, that sometimes we can’t explain but I do wonder if I might start with changing my morning thoughts. It’s somewhere to start, at least.

How about you? What’s the first thing you said or thought this morning? How did it effect the rest of your day?

Oh and PS…the sermon was great…I’m sure of it…well, at least, when I asked my husband what he was thinking on the way home in the car, he said the sermon, so it must have been ;)

What will you choose today?

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Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way ~ Victor Frankl, holocaust survivor.

I listened to a South African woman talk on the radio yesterday. This woman, referred to only as ‘Alison’, had survived an horrific attack in 1994. Raped, beaten, stabbed 35 times, Alison was left for dead (you can access the podcast here.)

One of the things that pulled Alison through the sea of depression that she found herself in following the attack, was the recognition that she had a choice. She could ultimately choose whether that event would change her negatively or positively.

It amazes me that people in the most dire of circumstances, people who have gone through far more than most of us ever will, can make a decision to not let that event/trauma rule the rest of their lives.

As Victor Frankl is renowned for saying, nobody can take away your power to choose your attitude. That is something that is entirely within your control. Obviously, there are circumstances in which it is harder to do this but I just have to think about Victor Frankl or ‘Alison’ to know that it can be done regardless of the severity of the event.

If people like Victor Frankl and ‘Alison’ can make a positive choice even in their circumstances, surely I can, too, in my little day to day troubles. For me, the effect of reflecting on their lives, has two outcomes. One: it makes me realise that we all have that ability, just like they did; and two: my ‘problems’ on the grand scale of things, aren’t actually that big.

So, changing my perspective, can also help me make the choice to change my attitude.

The older I get, the more people I know who have gone through significant, life changing events. And for the most part, I am inspired and challenged by the way they have handled their circumstances. Does simply choosing to have a healthy attitude make the problems go away or make them any easier to deal with? No, it doesn’t. What it does do is lay the foundations for a better future beyond that current circumstance.

Today, my first choice is to keep in mind Victor, Alison and all my friends who have overcome seemingly insurmountable odds and situations, and to choose my own way, instead of being at the mercy of my circumstances.

What will you choose to do today? Will you choose your own way?