Tag Archives: susannah friis

A little bit of clarity

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I turned the big 4-0 mid last year. And then somewhere between May and December my arms seemed to get shorter. I couldn’t seem to hold anything far enough away to be able to read the words properly.

Yes, you guessed it, I needed reading glasses :)

Once I had them, I couldn’t believe how much clearer things were. The words on the screen and on the pages of a book were actually sharp and clear and not some crazy new font where each letter had a fuzzy outline after all!

All it took to see more clearly was one visit to somebody who knew how to fix the fuzziness.

Sometimes in life, we can’t see clearly either – we are too close to situations to see a way out of them; we are too emotionally involved to think logically; or we are too caught up trying to fix things that we can miss obvious solutions.

Sometimes, we need someone else to bring clarity, just like a simple visit to the optometrist did for me.

Sometimes, we need something, or someone, outside of ourselves to bring things into focus.

When life gets fuzzy, we all have ways we try to regain focus. From crazy exercise regimes, overeating, undereating, overworking to alcohol, drugs, psychics, star signs – we have a myriad of ways to try and ‘fix’ the lack of clarity in our lives.

To me that’s a bit like putting on someone else’s glasses. Usually, it makes things look a whole lot worse. So we are right in that we need glasses but wrong in where we are seeking the clarity.

When life gets fuzzy for me, there is only One who can bring my life back into perfect focus.

How about you? Are you putting on someone else’s glasses and expecting them to make it all clear?

Why not go to the greatest optometrist of all? The One who is actually the only one qualified to make it all clear.

Ten fantastic things about the rain.

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Normally, I love the rain but even a diehard nature loving, optimistic, romantic has their limits.

The Great Southeast has been pummelled lately, and quite frankly, I think I can speak for everyone and say we’ve had enough.

Everything feels damp. The sky is dull. Mud keeps getting tracked through the house. Tempers are frayed with too much ‘inside’ time (and that’s just us parents!). The dogs won’t pee outside lest their little puds get wet and muddy, which means lots of *beeped out* cries from unsuspecting family members who unwittingly step in a warm puddle.

Ah, yes. I am quite ready for the sun to come out, thank you very much.

But, because I do always try to look on the bright side, here are ten FANTASTIC things about unending rain:

  1. Drying clothes via the dryer becomes a necessity rather than a luxury ie I save time by not having to hang the clothes out PLUS they don’t need ironing. Double bonus.Dryer
  2. My newly fertilized veggie patches are getting a nice soaking.Veggie boxes
  3. The grass is growing. (This might be a downside for those who have to mow it, but for me, I like seeing the lush green carpet outside.)grass
  4. Catching up on blog reading.catch up
  5. Sunday morning sleep-ins are nice and cosy.bed
  6. Copious amounts of hot tea and coffee are pretty much obligatory in this weather.coffee
  7. Children get creative and make ‘stuff’.craft
  8. Games get dusted off and played.UNO
  9. Blog posts get written :) blog
  10. Books get read. (and snacks are allowed to be eaten in the lounge room!)reading

This was surprisingly hard…I thought once I started I would get on a roll and be fine. I couldn’t get past number two for about half an hour.

What’s your favourite thing about the rain? I clearly need some help!

 

What’s on your spirit shelf?

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While in Thailand, I wanted to know as much about Buddhism as anyone was willing to tell me. I am fascinated by other belief systems and why people believe what they do.

One of the things I quickly realised is that Buddhism in Thailand is quite different to what we think of as Buddhism here. In Christianity, there is a major component of grace – you could even say that is the fundamental tenet that Christianity is built on. There is nothing that even closely resembles grace in true Buddhism. It is very much based on ‘what you get is what you deserve’ and earning your way to a better life, whereas grace is really getting what you don’t deserve and could never earn.

Up close, Buddhism isn’t warm and fuzzy with people exercising immense tolerance of others, not harming any living thing or living in a constant state of serenity. I found it to be harsh, ruthless and unyeilding.

My wise 15 year old pointed out that the practise of the religion was like the White Temple. Beautiful from a distance, quite frightening close up.

The White Temple glittering in the sun.

The White Temple glittering in the sun.

There were a lot of these pits depicting hands reaching out from hell.

There were a lot of these pits depicting hands reaching out from hell as well as other grotesque monsters at every turn.

 

The pastor’s wife we were being hosted by put it this way – in the West, Buddhism overlays a base of love, kindness and forgiveness, attributes left over from when the West was classed as Christian. So our Buddhism looks and feel different from what is practised in true Buddhist countries. She also talked about how, conversely, when Christianity is introduced into Buddhist countries, there is a tendency for people to simply add Jesus to their ‘spirit shelf’. He is seen as just another god to pray to, as they are used to having multiple gods/spirits of whom they ask assistance.

I found that so interesting. And realised with alarm but stark clarity, we who call ourselves Christians, are  just the same in the West.

Do I have Jesus as the only One on my spirit shelf? Or is it crowded, buckling under the weight of many gods?

Self. Money. Reputation. Possessions. Looks. Religion. Righteousness. Financial security. Popularity.

Gods, every one of them. And all things we use and turn to in times of need.

I will even go so far as to say that we turn to these things first and that God is waaaaaay down the end of the shelf. Forget being our Plan A, God is often not even our B, C, D, or E.

How does your spirit shelf look? Is there just one God on there, or many?

Love is the air.

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Valentine’s Day. Not a fan, myself – but will accept flowers, wine, chocolate if offered them ;) . If are looking for a warm and fuzzy post about love, go to this post, and be sure to read the comments :) .

However, it’s a good opportunity to focus on love. And I’m not talking about the mushy, sloppy, Hollywood romance type of love.

I mean fierce love, outrageous love. Love that makes you stand up and applaud.

The theme of love has been popping up a lot lately, and if you are a long time reader of this blog, firstly, thank you :) , and secondly, you will know that I love love!

A couple weeks back in church the well known verses that go like this were read out:

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

When you dissect it and take it piece by piece, it is extraordinarily powerful. I’m still mulling over and trying to put into practice just the first sentence! I figure by the time I’m about 347 years old, I’ll have perfected the whole thing.

And then in our family devotions just the other day, we read the words of Jesus:

 

…love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you….If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?

 

Mmmm…I don’t like that very much! It’s a bit harder to love those we don’t like, isn’t it? I find it no trouble at all to do and say nice things to my friends, even for strangers on the street. But the people that I know, who I know I don’t like??? That’s a different story.

Yet, it appears that’s what we are called to. And not to just pretend to love them and be nice…but to actually love them.

When in Thailand, I was struck by the love the staff at Destiny Rescue have for the children, the staff and the Thai people in general. And they even love the perpetrators of the heinous acts these girls endure. Yep, I saw Jesus in every single one of the staff there.

What the world needs isn’t more sloppy, weak love. It needs love that is prepared to get it’s hands dirty. Love that will feed people on the streets. Love that will go into brothels and give girls hope of a better life. Love that cares for the whole person. Love that will clothe, feed, shelter and protect. Love that loves just as people are, with all our differences, faults and ugliness!

We need love that will move out of our comfort zones. We need love that is patient, kind, puts itself last. Love that never gives up, love that loves the unlovely. Love that loves the annoying, hurtful, rude and nasty people.

The world needs people who don’t see love as optional.

The world needs people who see love as essential.

 

 

The good, the bad and the bumpy.

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Well, I thought by now that I would know where to start in telling you all about the trip but I don’t.

It was so full of activity, poignant moments, life-changing moments, joy, homesickness, good food, bad food, laughter and tears that there seems nowhere to begin…but here goes anyway.

Overall, it was fantastic. And if I didn’t love every single minute, I at least tried to make the most of every experience. The balance of things I loved and things I didn’t, is heavily weighted to the love side but, just like in all of life, there certainly were things that challenged me.

My overall impression of Thailand is mixed. I loved the people, loved the culture but running right alongside that was the knowledge of what the culture and the people do to their children. That for a section of society, children are a commodity to be bought and sold. And that for another section of society, children are to be used, abused and treated as less than the animals that roam the streets.

It seemed a land of contradictions. One where elders are respected, for no other reason than they are older than you, and regardless of how they have treated you. Where on the everyday streets, no-one yells at their kids yet parents find themselves in such a state of poverty that selling their children to a brothel is their only option (can you imagine being faced with that sort of choice??).  Where it is ‘good karma’ to feed the stray dogs and cats on the street, yet children go hungry. A nation that preaches ‘karma’ yet, in most cases, will not lift a finger for their poorer neighbour (how can they practice karma?? If you do good, you get good. If you do bad, you get bad. So, if someone is in a bad life situation, it’s their fault, so you don’t help them for fear of interfering with their karma. How then do you do good and get good back??? It simply made no sense to me.) A country where it is impolite and improper to agree if someone compliments your spouse or children, where, in fact, you are expected to vehemently disagree and say the opposite to the compliment. A country that tells their children they are stupid and dumb because it’s seen as proud to tell them they are smart.

I couldn’t wrap my head around some of it. It seemed so illogical to me, just as, I am sure, our ways seem illogical to them. I couldn’t reconcile the smiling, welcoming faces with it’s sinister night life of brothels where children as young as eight are forced to service an endless stream of ‘clients’ all night.

But the people were lovely and friendly, the countryside beautiful, the culture rich and diverse…and the work of Destiny Rescue simply outstanding.

I fell in love with the girls and boys we met. I fell in love with their infectious laughter and sheer joy for living, with their thankfulness for the lives they now are able to lead. I fell in love with the workers who care for these kids (our little three year old sponsor boy’s carer was an absolute treasure – limited English but her smile said all she needed to say!). I fell in love with the smells, the sights, the food, the markets. And the smile on their faces if they said an English word correctly and their giggles when you said a Thai word totally incorrectly! Priceless :)

I found the similarities interesting too. Parents who could barely afford food, made sure their kids had the latest phone, or that the biggest flat-screen TV graced the living area – just like people here. Kids at the school acting up, vying for attention and getting restless and cheeky by the end of the day. The fact that, sadly, they all knew who Justin Bieber was and knew all the words to Gangnam Style…bad taste is universal, my friends.

I would love to go back to Thailand, especially to Chiang Rai to see our sponsor kids but I’m not sure I could live there. And the culture shock of coming home to the Western world that everyone warned us about was a bit of a no-show. I think we went over there already having a healthy appreciation for what we have here and, in our family, trying to practice thankfulness as a way of life, meant that we were okay. Certainly though, I don’t sweat the small stuff like I did before, so there has certainly been a reinforcement of the right perspective. Before I left, our consumerism in the Western world turned my stomach, and it still does now but strangely, I have more compassion for those afflicted with the disease of materialism than I did before. I think it really hit home just how sad it is that we try to fill the voids in our lives with ‘stuff’.

So, has it changed me? Yes, most definitely. Some of the changes I expected, some are a surprise. I’m looking forward to sharing some of those with you all over the coming weeks, so stay tuned!

The trip in pictures.

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I am still trying to collect my thoughts (could take awhile! :) ) but I thought I would share some photos with you to give a general outline of some of the things we got up to during the two weeks. There will be posts on certain aspects and specific experiences coming up over the next few weeks :)

So, we got on a plane,

Landed in Thailand,

Untitled

Street in Chiang Rai.

Ate these,

Crickets

Crickets! They were actually not too bad :)

Which made Charli do this,

Charli crickets

She didn’t agree with me.

We went here,

White temple

The White Temple. Amazing architecture.

Saw this,

White buddha

The White Buddha.

Rode a big grey animal,

Charli elephant

She was allowed to ride on the front where the handler normally sits. He then sat with me and, gesturing to Charli, said the Thai word for beautiful. I learnt that one pretty quickly as it was said so often in reference to her :) No-one else in our group was invited to sit up front….

Fell in love with these two,

Girls

Crossed this border,

Untitled 2

Felt sad at this state of living,

Untitled 3

On the Thailand side of the Burma border. It looked like it would collapse if a butterfly landed on it. The beggars on the bridge made it even sadder to me.

Helped create this,

Deck

Took this amazing shot :)

Boats

Bought a kilo of these,

Mangosteins

Mangosteins – yummy! Wish we had them here.

Ate this,

Squid

Met the man who changed my life who lives here,

Andy

Twenty year old Andy lives here with his mother. He will get a whole post, or maybe two, just to himself and you will hear all about him :)

Were very happy to find this,

Coke

I wanted the bottle as a souvenir but they were the ones that get handed back and refilled at the factory…had to settle for bringing the bottle top home.

Ate here,

restaurant

And here,

Green restaurant

And ate this,

Food

Declined to eat this,

Tiny

Due to my allergies and the language barrier, I erred on the side of caution and didn’t try it. Found out later that it was just some sort of sweet made from a certain palm tree. I was so annoyed as I had vowed to eat everything presented to me!

Met these crazy cats,

Lila and David and Jeff

And finally, came home to this,

Welcome home

And much more of course but you’ll have to wait for the rest :)

Honey, I’m home!

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Well, we are back from Thailand.

And what a reception we received from our home town! Floods, 100km winds, no power, no phones, no internet – from nice, sunny weather in Thailand, to this! It meant that the first few days home were quite surreal, with no time to really process our trip, let alone talk much about it in the face of the immediate need to keep the things in the fridge from going off, find torches, batteries, worry that we had no communication with family to say we were even home safely and generally try to (literally!) keep our heads above water!

Now, four or five days since we returned, and with the weather settled and the immediate crisis over, I can begin to work out how I feel about everything.

So, this post is just to say I am back, that we had an awesome time, and that I will be writing many posts about our experience. Right now, I need to re-group my thoughts (I’m trying to spare you the incoherent ramble that is going on in my head at the present moment!) and will share with you all in due course.

In the meantime, how has the last two weeks been for you? What have you been up to while I’ve been riding elephants and eating yet another bowl of rice? :)

Thailand or bust!

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Cases almost finished :)

Cases almost finished :)

Well, this is it, peeps. Tomorrow we are off to Thailand. Yippee!

A couple of weeks back, I was turned inside out with nerves. Now, just hours away from departure day and I’m not nervous at all. I think I was so concerned with not forgetting anything and being organised and trying to preempt each and any contingency, that I just may have given myself a peptic ulcer.

I feel organised now, though. And am at the point of thinking that we can cope with anything I may not have thought to bring along (I did very nearly forget to pack undies, which could have been a little problematic).

I am not sure how much time or internet accessibility I will have, so may not be able to blog while I’m over there. But rest assured, I will be writing lots of stories and events down to be able to tell you all when I get back. Oh and photos. There will be lots of photos ;)

So, I will see you on flipside of two weeks, lovelies! Behave yourselves while I am gone or there will be trouble! :)

Be inspired.

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Lately, I have been inspired by amazing women.

Take my 18 year old niece who is currently in Uganda for three weeks. She is with a team of older people ie none of her close friends for support, on top of culture shock and the ramifications of being in a third world country. Or my nephew’s girlfriend, who, at the age of 18 spent a month in Africa helping in a team where she knew no-one. And then there is our friend who, at 17 went on a schoolies trip to Thailand, similar to the one Chalky and I are about to embark on in just over a week. And, of course, there is Chalky herself – 15 years old and already wanting to make a difference in the lives of others; whose main concern in life isn’t boys or hair styles or shopping but a focus on world issues and giving back.

And then there are the women who just inspire me daily with their courage in their circumstances. Women who refuse to allow their situations to get the better of them and just keep on picking themselves up and dusting themselves off.  And it’s not always the big things. Quite often, it’s the small things that provide me with the greatest sense of wonderment. Like not just ‘putting up’ with their husband’s faults but really loving them through it. It’s women who, day in, day out, make sacrifices for their children that no-one even notices. It’s women doing the best they can with what they have. It’s being brave enough to cry, strong enough to scream and tenacious enough to simply keep putting one foot in front of the other.

It’s the women who come to me to talk and ‘download’ and yet I am the one who is encouraged and uplifted by them at the end of our time together. Their spark and doggedness ignites something within me, and I am better for it.

Some years ago, talking to, or hearing about, these women would have intimidated me, made me feel small and ‘less than’. Rather than being inspired by them, I would have felt guilt that I wasn’t doing something the same, or that I was less patient with my circumstances that, by comparison, were not that difficult.

Now, I don’t feel those things. I simply feel inspired and motivated by the strength and determination of those around me. By sharing their lives, their struggles, with me, my friends help me see what grit and determination can achieve, and what it can do to our circumstances.

And that all of us can do it. When I start feeling apprehensive about our upcoming trip, I just think about those teenagers I know who have done similar trips, and that gives me courage and a sense of calm.

You don’t have to look too far, or too hard, to find inspiration. Amazing people are all around us. You just have to start to see it.

2013, here I come!

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Well, happy new year everyone :)

2012, while not as challenging as 2011, certainly was no picnic, so I am crossing fingers, toes and anything else that will bend that way, for a bigger and better 2013.

If you read my monthly column, or even this blog last year, you might know that I detest new years resolutions (you can read last year’s rant here). I do, however, like goal setting. What the difference is, I’m not quite sure, but we go with what works, don’t we? :)

In just under two weeks, Chalky and I will be up, up and away and in Thailand (you can read about why and how, here), so the year definitely holds an adventure or two for us, that’s for sure.

But what about when we come back? What do I want the rest of the year to look like?

I think there is a strong chance I will come back freshly motivated and enthusiastic to make money. How can I go to a country and be with children who have been sold into the sex slave industry, where most people live in sub-standard (by Western society) conditions and come back wanting to make money?

Easy. I think I will want to increase our income so we can increase theirs. I hope that once I have seen the level of need and talked to staff at Destiny Rescue about what is in high demand, I will come home with a better idea of how to help. My guess is that money is going to be a big factor. In order to give more, I’m going to need more, so I think a renewed passion for our business and how we can increase our own revenue in order to increase our giving, will be likely.

On an individual level, my two goals are to finish the first draft of my novel (my beta readers will be pleased!) and get my final qualifications for Bowen therapy.

There is also one specific change I want to make. I am going to aim at spending 15 minutes a day doing nothing but being. No games on my iphone, no facebook, no book, no music. Just me and….me. I have realised coming into the new year how little I do that. And I have a sneaking suspicion it just might do me good to simply be, even if only for 15 minutes a day.

What are your goals, intentions and plans for this brand spanking new year?