Do you have enemies?

One of my favourite Winston Churchill quotes is: “You have enemies? Good. That means you actually stood up for something in your life.”

We all, if we are honest, have an innate desire to be liked.ย Most of us want to please others. And rightly so. It is good to want to see others happy and knowing we may have had a hand in that happiness is a wonderful thing.

But.

When we pursue approval and pleasing others above all else, above doing what is right, or doing what is right for us, we run the risk of denying our own selves and that can lead to all sorts of interesting issues (just ask my psychologist friend!).

I don’t think Winston Churchill’s quote gives us licence to run rough-shod over other people’s feelings, opinions or beliefs. I think it more encourages us to stand up for what we believe in and if that makes us some enemies along the way, then so be it.

There are plenty of people out there who don’t like me (and not just because I have stood up for something…can you believe some people just don’t like me?! Shocking, isn’t it!) and I am okay with that. I didn’t used to be but life has an uncanny way of ensuring we have the right experiences to get us where we need to be.

I have been labelled as a stickler for the truth by some. I was particularly pleased with that one – if you are not going to like me because you view me as unwavering from the truth, then great! I would rather upset you than compromise my beliefs just to make you feel better about yourself.

So. Do you have enemies? When have you stood up for something even though the consequence was people not liking you?

 

9 thoughts on “Do you have enemies?

  1. I have often stood up – it often comes with a cost. And I’m fine with that. I also stand up for my opinions, because after all, they are my opinions. And sometimes people just have to agree to disagree. Good post!

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    • Karen, you definitely strike me as that sort of person – I love it! I read a funny t-shirt recently which said “Everyone is entitled to my opinion” ๐Ÿ™‚ Gave me a little chuckle! But like you said, our opinions are just that – ours. Glad you enjoyed the post ๐Ÿ™‚

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  2. Surely self esteem has a lot to do with how much we want to try and please others. If we feel good about ourselves then maybe we are more likely to stand up for what we believe and suffer the consequences. It’s not an easy task to find the right balance of grace and humility while standing up for our beliefs, but I think it’s worth the effort ๐Ÿ™‚

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    • True, being brave enough to stand up for your beliefs, often requires a certain amount of self belief too. And yes, being arrogant while standing up for for something you believe in, is not attractive or relationship building at all. You often manage to do it with both grace and humility, though ๐Ÿ™‚

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  3. As a people pleaser, this post definitely spoke to me! I hate it when people don’t like me. I know there are people who simply don’t like me for whatever reason and it bothers me to no end. But, as you said, you shouldn’t compromise your beliefs to suit someone else’s. It’s so true! I hope my son grows up with the self confidence to accept that some people may like him and others love him. As long as we treat others with respect I know how they feel about us is really out of our hands!

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    • You are so right. We can’t control others and their opinion of us…..just like some people love coffee, while others prefer tea, it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with either one, it just means people have different tastes. We can’t be to everyone’s taste, can we? ๐Ÿ™‚

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  4. When I was a resident assistant in the college dorm I was definitely disliked by some. Nothing like throwing a girl’s boyfriend out of the building or dumping out beer to earn friends. Although interestingly enough, my girls on my floor liked me even when I enforced the rules. It was girls on other floors who would hate me.

    And I’ve had a few students dislike me. Not many, but a few.

    If someone is going to dislike me, I’d like to know instead of someone who dislikes me and pretends otherwise.

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