I like you.

A long time ago, a friend’s father told her that he would always love her, but didn’t necessarily like her all the time. She didn’t seem too upset by the comment, I, on the other hand, was devastated on her behalf!

I know some people find it hard to say ‘I love you’ and it should be said more to those around us but how often do you tell those same people that you like them?

There was a slight ‘discussion’ between my husband and I recently about what character traits we did, or didn’t as the case may be, like about each other. We are secure in our love and say those three little words regularly but the issue of liking one another is an entirely different matter.

For me, it’s important to know that I am liked, as well as loved. I want to know that the people I spend time with who love me, also like my company and who I am as a person.

It’s easy, especially with children and spouses and other family members, to know they love us but not feel we are particularly ‘liked’.

The words ‘I love you’ can trip of the tongue so easily that it can seem almost routine and, while it needs to be said, can sometimes feel like the person ‘has’ to love you because you are family.

‘I like you’ on the other hand implies a choice. We feel honour bound to ‘love’ the members of our family but liking them doesn’t always come so easily.Β Saying we ‘like’ our spouse says to them that we choose each day to enjoy their company. Not because we are married and ‘have to’ but because we want to. Most children in healthy families would say they know they are loved, even if they aren’t told that often, but do they know they are liked? Just for being who they are? Do we, as parents, enjoy their company as people and like them for that reason alone, regardless of the DNA?

I think it’s possible to love someone without liking them. I also think it’s possible, and normal, to not like everything about the ones you love. But that shouldn’t stop you from telling them the things about them that you do like.

It’s a wonderful thing to be loved, that is sure. But, oh, what a glorious treat to know we are liked, too.

12 thoughts on “I like you.

  1. Lovely post. I do say I love you to family, and I make sure I say it before I leave their company. I sign (American Sign Language) the I Love You sign, too. Sure, they have traits I don’t like, at times, and the grandsons are not angels every darn minute. I let them know I don’t like their behavior, but always love them.


    • It really is so important, as you well know πŸ™‚ I have seen the look of surprise when someone overhears me ending a phone call with ‘I love you’. It just isn’t said enough….and neither is ‘I like you’. To me it is just as important but is so often forgotten.


  2. Cracking up about your kids’ replies. What a perfect venue to say, “I like you, Mum.” πŸ™‚

    I’m lucky to have married my very best friend… Ever. We were just mentioning this. We enjoy each other’s company so much, we even relish and look forward to long car rides together, such as those we will be making this Christmas. It is an important distinction, and a good reminder to say it to those we do like. Thanks for another great post, Susannah!


  3. I liked what you had to say – I like how you are respectful and treat others so well – I like your bubbly personality – I like the way you are always so positive about life –
    come to think of it I LIKE YOU a lot, maybe that’s because you are my daughter!
    I like you & I love you.


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