Good deeds

Not too long ago, there was a status update from a friend about something lovely her husband had spontaneously done for her. Uh-oh, I thought, here we go. You see, I knew exactly what the response was going to be. And sure enough, before too long there were a few comments made about what her husband might have ‘done’ to need to do this for her.

I happen to have a husband who does lots and lots, and LOTS, of wonderful things for me, consistently and regularly. I have had that same response from friends over the years and it makes my blood boil.

Why are other women so quick to tear down and question the good deeds of a friends husband? Is it really so hard to believe that husbands can be loving, kind and considerate?

Over the years, I have learnt to not say anything at all about the things he does. Oh I make sure I appreciate them plenty to him…I just don’t talk about it to my friends, except one or two who ‘get’ it. Sometimes I don’t talk about it because it can seem, weirdly, like bragging or something. And I’m not into that.

I just think it’s such a shame. Here are these wonderful, caring men, who are suspected of wrong-doing, simply because they choose to treat their wives with consideration and respect.

Women long to be nurtured, treasured and feel genuinely cared for. Yet when someone else is getting that from their husband, women are all over it with suspicion and cattiness. Now, I know, it stems, in most cases, from the fact that these women are more than likely not receiving the same treatment from their husbands. And because they long for that, it hurts that someone else is being treated like that when they aren’t. I get it but I don’t like it.

Maybe if more men heard, via their wives, about the wonderful things other husbands did, they would be more inclined to lift their game. Maybe if the men who already are doing wonderful things, were publicly acknowledged (not that that is why they do it), they might feel more validated and appreciated.

I am sick and tired of the inference that if a husband is caring and thoughtful he is either weak and under the thumb, or has done something wrong.

When are we going to start valuing a strong male role in society and in our homes? Part of a man’s strength is in his ability to show feelings, to care, to nurture and treasure.

So let me say (because it IS my blog, after all :)) what I never normally say in a public forum – thank you, my darling husband, for all the little things you do, that aren’t little at all. For all the cups of tea, glasses of wine, foot spas, washing, vacuuming, cleaning, little gifts, big gifts, for filling my car with petrol before I go out, for going to the shop at night to buy me chocolate…..well, that will do, you know what you do.

I love that you are strong enough to nurture, treasure and care for me like you do;Β I know how lucky and blessed I am to have you andΒ I don’t care who else knows it too. πŸ™‚


8 thoughts on “Good deeds

  1. I am sometimes guilty as charged! I’ll try to be better. Though divorced now (and unhappily married before), I sometimes look at my son – the nice things he does for his wife ‘just because.’ I’m proud of him for that.


  2. I couldn’t have said this better. I, like Karen, am divorced and was unhappily married before. But now I have this wonderful man in my life, and I forget to be grateful. Men like him, and like your husbands, are rare. They should be accoladed, given credit. I agree, we should share our blessings, raise their light for others to see and hopefully emulate. Love this one. Thank you, and my man thanks you:)


  3. We have awesome husbands! When I posted on facebook about my husband doing a nice deed for me (which happens often) his response when he found out was that he would be criticized by other husbands for ‘making life tough for them’! And he did have to explain his actions for the next week to people who had saw the post! Wow! I originally posted on facebook not to brag but to encourage my husband cause he is a words of affirmation kinda guy. But I am glad that it did generate discussion and hope that discussion leads to action for other husbands!


    • I wanted to also delve into what other husbands do when their friends are affirmed by their wives for doing good but the post would have been far too long. Maybe I will have to do a Part Two from this post! I, too, hope that it creates some change. One of the reasons I love Mark is because of the kind of husband he is – which reminds me so much of Graham and I know I don’t have to ‘hide’ how lovely he is from you both. You guys are fab πŸ™‚


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