Be careful what you wish for

This coming weekend, I will be hopping in my car and driving myself up the coast to spend a week with……me.

That’s right folks, you read that right. A whole week to myself.

No one asking what they can have to eat or when’s tea or can you help with my homework or where’s my uniform….No work emails to reply to, phone to answer, deadlines to meet.

Just me, my laptop and…me. Walks on the beach, wandering round the markets, swims in the pool, afternoon nanna-naps, late nights, early nights, sleep ins, early mornings. All things I have daydreamed about and wished for, for about the last 20 years.

I can do…Whatever. I. Want.

There’s just one small problem.

As wonderful as it all sounds, it’s actually a bit scary. I have never had a weekend to myself, let alone a whole week. Put that together with the fact that I am just a tiny bit of an extrovert and spending a week by myself is a bit daunting.

On paper…great! In reality…mmmm, we’ll see.

I know that I will have plenty to do. With all the ‘activities’ (writing, reading, dvd watching, bowen theory work) that I have already piled by my mental door, my husband keeps checking that I know it’s just one week I am going for.

I think I have worked out why I feel apprehensive.

I don’t have a need to be needed (well, no more than any other normal mother), I don’t have any concerns that my husband can handle our business plus the kids (he is ridiculously capable, almost to the point of rendering me redundant sometimes). I have no problems with my own company, and I’m not afraid to be alone.

What it boils down to, for me, is that I love people, and specifically, my people. I will miss my family beyond belief and I just know I am going to have to fight the urge to hop back in the car on the second day and come home.

But I won’t, partly because I will get a lecture about how we’ve already paid for the accommodation, but mainly because I like to stretch myself. I relish pushing myself mentally and moving outside my comfort zone. A ‘character building exercise’ my psychology friend would call it. I like to rise to a challenge and know that I have won.

So. Here’s to winning.

Oh and if you don’t mind, I just might bring you all along to cheer me on my way. See you up the coast, cyber friends and family!

16 thoughts on “Be careful what you wish for

  1. Maybe take along Thoreau’s Walden? I’m predicting after the longing to be with loved ones fades (I’m not saying it’ll disappear), you will achieve a zenlike state. It may come in snatches, or in one fantastic florish, but it’ll come. Pamper yourself. Let you mind and spirit float, with no expectations. Don’t worry about us, if you don’t get around to touching base. 🙂

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  2. Agree with Vaughn, a nice long rambling book might be a good companion. And don’t worry about us. We will all be here when you get back. Do pamper yourself, embrace the lack of demands, the quiet. I do not have children or husband at home, but I would love a long trip up a coast, any coast.

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  3. I would like to go to a place where I could watch the grass grow, the clouds turn from bunnies to dragons, observe the rhythm of the waves pounding the shore. Sit with a couple of medium-point pens, a few sharpened pencils, and a pad of paper. And no internet connection whatsoever.

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  4. Thinking of you Susannah. Willing lot’s of creativity and relaxation into the spiritual grid for you. Jot down any tips for me as I plan to do exactly the same thing in the Tropical North after Easter.

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  5. OMG I MEAN ‘LOTS’ NOT ‘LOT’S’.

    HECK, CAN YOU TELL I WAS UP WORKING ON MY SUBMISSION UNTIL THREE THIS MORNING?

    AS MY DEAR FRIEND POSTED YESTERDAY: ‘GRAMMAR; THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN KNOWING YOUR SHIT, AND KNOWING YOU’RE SHIT.’

    PLEASE IGNORE MY MISTAKE. NOW I’M GOING TO SQUEEZE IN A NANNA NAP BEFORE DINNERTIME.

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