This coming weekend, I will be hopping in my car and driving myself up the coast to spend a week with……me.
That’s right folks, you read that right. A whole week to myself.
No one asking what they can have to eat or when’s tea or can you help with my homework or where’s my uniform….No work emails to reply to, phone to answer, deadlines to meet.
Just me, my laptop and…me. Walks on the beach, wandering round the markets, swims in the pool, afternoon nanna-naps, late nights, early nights, sleep ins, early mornings. All things I have daydreamed about and wished for, for about the last 20 years.
I can do…Whatever. I. Want.
There’s just one small problem.
As wonderful as it all sounds, it’s actually a bit scary. I have never had a weekend to myself, let alone a whole week. Put that together with the fact that I am just a tiny bit of an extrovert and spending a week by myself is a bit daunting.
On paper…great! In reality…mmmm, we’ll see.
I know that I will have plenty to do. With all the ‘activities’ (writing, reading, dvd watching, bowen theory work) that I have already piled by my mental door, my husband keeps checking that I know it’s just one week I am going for.
I think I have worked out why I feel apprehensive.
I don’t have a need to be needed (well, no more than any other normal mother), I don’t have any concerns that my husband can handle our business plus the kids (he is ridiculously capable, almost to the point of rendering me redundant sometimes). I have no problems with my own company, and I’m not afraid to be alone.
What it boils down to, for me, is that I love people, and specifically, my people. I will miss my family beyond belief and I just know I am going to have to fight the urge to hop back in the car on the second day and come home.
But I won’t, partly because I will get a lecture about how we’ve already paid for the accommodation, but mainly because I like to stretch myself. I relish pushing myself mentally and moving outside my comfort zone. A ‘character building exercise’ my psychology friend would call it. I like to rise to a challenge and know that I have won.
So. Here’s to winning.
Oh and if you don’t mind, I just might bring you all along to cheer me on my way. See you up the coast, cyber friends and family!