Careful what you wish for

Today, Chalky and I went and opened specific bank accounts, just for the Thailand trip.

It took about an hour and a half, partly, I think, due to the bank lady’s interest in our reason for setting the accounts up.

She was most impressed with Chalky and her desire to make a difference. I am too 🙂
After promising to take many photos of Thailand and bring them in to show her, and her words ringing in our ears that she hoped to see us back soon with more money to deposit, we walked out the door.

And that’s when it started. The churning, the panic….the realisation that I was doing this. That the lofty talk that I have spruiked about for years of wanting to go on a mission trip, was actually about to become reality.

I calmed myself by repeating the words “It’s not til January, it’s not til January” over and over in my head and managed to carry on with the day.

Ever committed yourself to something that you have always wanted to do and then been frozen with terror that it’s actually happening??

Uh-oh.

9 thoughts on “Careful what you wish for

  1. Ah, yes. Marriage was a terrifying step for me. I think I even said in the limo on the way to church that I couldn’t believe I was doing this–or something to that effect. My future sister-in-law burst out laughing and swore she’d tell her brother I said that. It was a good ice-breaker.

    Writing, or at least, making a commitment to writing was another plunge into terrifying space. But after having quit writing once before, I knew the detriments to that decision and that I wouldn’t hurt myself like that again.

    I think anything is easier when you have a trusted loved one beside you. You’ll be just fine! 🙂

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    • LOL Your sister-in-law had some good dirt on you from the very beginning! Hope she didn’t ever use it to her advantage 😉
      And you are so right, having my Chalky along with me will help immensely!

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  2. I’m sure a motivational writer, like Steven Pressfield, would say your fear is a good indication you’re doing the right thing. And I learned a new word today (had to google ‘spruiked’). So, in the words of your countrymen (or at least the ones in advertisements in the US): Good on you! 😉

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    • I like that – that the fear is an indication that it’s the right thing – so, I’m going to take it! Thanks for the encouragement, Vaughn.
      PS. Spruiked is a cool word, isn’t it 😉

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  3. Pingback: Why are we giving? « Personally Speaking

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