Clearing out and the space it leaves

If you read the last post, you’ll remember that I cleared out the spare room and it’s now my space to write and ponder the universe in.

While in the middle of the changing around, my youngest daughter poked her head in the doorway and asked what I was doing and with a ‘huh’ left after I told her the answer.

A little while later, when it was all set up, she came back and this is how the conversation went.

Her: “Oh! This room is cool!”

Me: “Yep. I’m pretty happy with it.”

Her: “When I wake up early or any other time, and you’re not in here, can I come in here?”

Me: “No.”

Her: “Why not?!?!”

Me: “Because it’s my space and I set it all up.”

Her: “That is totally unfair. [and said as she walked off] When I’m an adult, I’m going to have MY own space and no-one will be allowed in!”

I chuckled to myself, thinking, ‘Well, you have a whole room to yourself right now!’

I told my husband later and he immediately saw the parallel with life.

Sometimes, we see what other people have in their lives and want what they have. What we don’t always see is the hard work, the rearranging, the sweat, the decisions, the effort of moving things around. We just see a great room and we want to move in.

And sometimes we can see it midway and not see it’s potential. It’s only after we see it complete that we think it’s worth anything.

It’s easy to look at others and be jealous of their ‘special spaces’ and wonder why they can have that and we can’t. All the while, we miss the point that if we too put in the same amount of effort, we could have what they have. It may look different, rearranged in it’s own unique pattern but it will be ours and it will be special.

And we will have the satisfaction of knowing we did it ourselves and that’s it was our hard work that gave us what we have. Isn’t that far better than walking into something already finished?

 

12 thoughts on “Clearing out and the space it leaves

  1. Very keen observation – it is so easy to want to step into another’s ‘space’.

    Or, parts of it. When we look across the fence and say, “I’d trade”, we momentarily forget – and reject – the things in our life that make us who we are, and the people that depend on us for their world to be complete.

    I know that the end of that statement, about people depending on us, rather flies in the face of modern “I’n not responsible for your happiness!” thinking, but I believe the situation is more complicated than that. We can make others unhappy, and our presence and kindness can make them happy.

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    • You are quite right. Discontentment is really ungratefulness and, like you say, a rejection of what we have. And I agree, while the source of our true happiness does not lie with other people, those around us do still have the capacity to make us happy or not. Just as we can influence others and make them happy ๐Ÿ™‚

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  2. I have one of those spaces now. It’s supposed to be a bedroom and the closet reflects the fact that 100+ years ago, people didn’t have many clothes to put in a closet. For the 13 years we’ve been here, that closet has been the catch-all…to the point that I didn’t want to open it. What a disaster! What a chore it would be to clean out! Projects once started but never likely to be finished reinforced the feelings of failure or laziness or emotion du jour.
    But I finally started on it. My room got way worse before it got better. Piles of stuff seemed to multiply, then were invaded by the fall infestation of stink bugs that have descended on us the past few years. Who wants to clean out piles from which bugs may fly?? The piles are finally gone, the closet organized, my shabby but still comfortable recliner from downstairs doesn’t match anything in here and is too large for the space, but oh, what a wonderful spot for reading a book!
    It’s still fresh enough that every time I walk in, I’m pleasantly surprised at how much I like this room. Now if I could get my head as cleared out as my closet and get a bit of freshness there, I’d be in great shape!

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    • Sounds wonderful! I have a feeling that now I have my space, I won’t be giving it up too easily. And I’m with you on the sentiment of getting your head as cleared as your room. I’m working on it though! ๐Ÿ˜‰

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  3. A room of one’s own is certainly something special. Maybe your beautiful daughter is coveting not just the room, but the grownupness of creating a room and doing great things in it, like writing. Just quietly – I want your cool room too.

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  4. As a single, all of my space is just that – all mine! Funny how we sometimes want what others have. Oh, yes, sometimes I want a newer car, or a better couch, or a nicer coat. But I truly have all I need, and most of it isn’t at my apartment. It’s at my son’s house. My life is full of family, and I am grateful. I try to keep all my space clear, no clutter for me. It was easy after the last move – didn’t have much to move. It is fun to decorate a new space, or re-do an old space and give it a complete face lift. Will you be sharing pictures? ๐Ÿ™‚

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    • So even though all your space is your space, do you have a special place just for writing or sitting or pondering? Or is your whole home conducive to tapping into that side of you?

      Being forced to downsize would bring it into perspective and help sort out what is important enough materially to replace.

      I’ll message you a photo ๐Ÿ™‚

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      • Funny you should ask that…I’ve been having trouble with neighbors the last few months and have been tied up in knots, so not much art or writing or editing. I have a beautiful apartment – a large open spaced living-kitchen area, a large bathroom, a nice bedroom. I have a desk, but no desk chair (I’m saving), I have a couch where I do most of my networking. I have an outside stoop where I do most of my heavy thinking. I have a back patio where I like to create art (I will again next Spring). I have my kids’ house where I do most of my loving.

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        • Sorry to hear you’ve had neighbour trouble! That is never fun ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

          I love it that your home has different areas for different parts of you. I’ll be looking forward to seeing the results of you spending time on that back patio come Spring!

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  5. Hey thanks for reminding us that we as human have the tendency to see only the success and the good things others are enjoying and yet have forgotten to acquire on the process on how they get it. I think we need to learn to appreciate the process/effort more than the end result, as the latter is only a fruit that taste sweet to those who plant it.

    We will never be satisfied or happy with the things we got, if it comes easy. ๐Ÿ™‚

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    • Yes, I used to not enjoy the process of things, particularly practicing a certain thing until I was good at it. Now, I am just as interested in the process as I am in the end result. Like you say, the fruit is sweet to those who plant it (I love that!).

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