Why so rude, people?

At this end of the year, like many others, we are doing the rounds of school awards nights, presentation evenings and dance concerts.

One thing I have noticed that is worse than ever this year is the rudeness of others. At nearly all events we have attended, there have been people talking in front of us, behind us, beside us. And these aren’t always kids, in fact, more often than not, it’s adults.

Now, my family will tell you that I have no qualms in telling people around me who are talking when they shouldn’t, to be quiet. I try to say it politely, of course, but it is hard tell people nicely to shut their traps, show some respect and give consideration to those on the stage.

What is wrong with people? Is everyone really so self involved and self focused that they can’t join the dots between them wanting to see their child, and everyone else wanting to see their own? How can grown adults not get that their behaviour directly impacts on everyone else’s ability to see their own child up on stage? And you know what, those people are the first to complain if anyone interferes with their line of sight or ability to hear their child’s name called.

Call me old fashioned, call me intolerant but it’s just plain rude.

And while I’m on the bandwagon of rude people, tell me why an oldish woman feels the need to stop me on my walk with my children at 6 o’clock at night to tell me that my child should be wearing a hat and is severely sunburnt? I wanted to thank her for making my child feel even more self conscious of the way her beautiful alabaster skin turns bright red at the slightest bit of exercise but I restrained myself…just.

Honestly, where have common respect and consideration for our fellow man gone?

Rant over.

12 thoughts on “Why so rude, people?

  1. I’m totally in agreement with you. The world seems to have decided that everyone is the centre of their own Universe and others don’t matter. People may have been glad to see the back of the fifties but at least children were still taught manners then or at least learned by example. With the lady who commented on your daughter, I’m not sure since I didn’t hear the tone, but in some ways I’m glad there are people still concerned enough to maybe comment if they think a parent hasn’t noticed something. Maybe you should have told her the real reason so she was more careful in future but you may have also made a friend if you’d got chatting.
    xxx Super Hugs xxx

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    • Unfortunately, no. She kept insisting that it was sunburn even after I explained the reason for my daughters red face. Her tone certainly didn’t give any suggestion she wished to have a friendly chat about it. I thanked her for her concern and smiled and waved as we walked away (being pulled as we were by our two small but feisty dogs!) and she was still trying to tell me that I should make her wear a hat when out for a walk. Seriously, it was dusk and no danger of sunburn at all. Hasn’t she ever heard of the benefits of vitamin D? 🙂

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  2. It seems to come from a sense of entitlement – that people feel that they deserve the right to say what they want, when they want, because they are basically at the center of the universe.

    We may have Benjamin Spock to thank for this – his ‘child-centered’ advice given in “Baby and Child Care” made for several generations of spoiled brats whose every whim took on tremendous importance, let the tykes’ self-esteem be damaged.Children ended up being taught that their responsibility for their own behaviour ended where their feelings and desires began.

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    • I totally agree that there is a sense of entitlement. Self importance is the other phrase that comes to mind. And when we are full of our own self importance, we absolutely stop taking responsibility for our actions and behaviour and everyone around us must bow to our wishes, simply because they are our wishes. I like how you said “their responsibility for their own behaviour ended where their feelings and desires began.” So very, very true.

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  3. If the kids behave that way it’s because they’ve learned it from mom and dad, no doubt. But I agree, it’s often the adults who are the worst behaved. Too much ME going on and not enough OTHERS. Good for you to speak up. More of us need to.

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  4. I used to keep quiet about rude people, in my youth. No more! Those people you hold a door open for that waltz right through without a thank you or a howdy do or a kiss my ass? Yes, I yell at them, “YOU ARE WELCOME!” Those people that talk in movies, I turn around and tell them, “Hush up.” Those people that are supposed to be watching their children in a presentation or play or whatever – some of them, I’ve said, “Isn’t your child more important than your FB status?” Those people that chit chat while someone is giving a presentation…”Quiet! I’m trying to listen, you should be too!” I stand against rudeness.

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    • Well, you can’t fight rudeness with rudeness, so I do try my best to be pleasant. On the odd occasion, there are people who are apologetic and pipe down after a kind suggestion to do so 🙂

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  5. The flip side is that we also need to recognize courtesy when we see it. Just this morning a gentleman several years older than I held a door open for me. I looked up, made eye-contact, smiled and said with surprise and appreciation in my voice “Why, thank you!”. “You’re welcome, Ma’am.” A small exchange, a moment out of our busy morning, but it put a smile on both of our faces.

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  6. I have read the above comments and impressed by all well controlled responses. Darls you have done it again, I think towards the end I might have been tempted to say, “Next time you go for a walk, it might be nice to take your brain with you”; “Excuse me but your talking is making me strain to hear, and when that happens, it makes me feel very nauseous. So I thought I should warn you in case I unexpectedly throw up all over you.”. As you can see, I am still a work in progress, so I get a lot out of your column.

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